distractions distractions

office curtain

Originally uploaded by sockmonkeyrevolt

I’m easily distracted, it’s one of the not so positive aspects of my attention deficit disorder (and for the record I hate that term, it’s not a disorder, it’s a different way of going through the world.) As I’ve gotten older and at times frustrated by the successes of friends and acquaintances while in my opinion I refused to commit to taking the opportunities and risky chances that could have led to my own, I’ve thought about trying out a medication or two, curious of what life could be if i could focus on one thing instead of needing three, weren’t distracted by the next great plan. Would it perhaps let me not be afraid of missing 20 things in going after one. (I’m convinced that my squandering of opportunity is not due to a fear of failure, but to a fear of success and that success means you’ve committed to a path and possibly are missing the one you should have been on.)

Every time I’ve thought about it, I’ve rejected the idea, and I’ve done so because there is always a trade off. I was in my 20s before anyone ever said, ‘you know, you have an issue.’ So now I’m set in my ways, and most of the time I view the odd way my brain focuses as its own little super power. OK so if I try to just read a book, I start thinking about other things I need to do and end up reading the same paragraph 3 times and stop every 5 minutes to google something i just remembered I wanted to find out about, but, how many people with normal attention can watch tv, draw a cartoon and listen to someone reading a book at the same time and be able tell the book-reader who thinks you’re not paying attention exactly what’s happened on their last 3 pages as well as what’s going on on tv? That is my everyday superpower. And after so many years I’ve learned a few tricks to occupy the restless parts of my brain when I really need to pay attention to one things (elaborate doodling during meetings is a sign I’m really paying attention despite preconceptions)

Why all this talk of distractions? Well this post was supposed to be about my resurrection of Guinea Pig Mondays which I haven’t done for a year now (I stopped for some reason when my grandfather died and this weekend will be the first yahrzeit, which is amazingly hard to believe) and I find I sort of miss subjecting co-workers to gooey baked goodness experiments, so I’m bringing it back. However, I got distracted by the Law and Order SVU Coed Killer Marathon, and before I knew it it was too late to get started, so Guinea Pig Monday is tempoarily becoming Guinea Pig Tuesday.

Despite all this, I did have a productive weekend. A big storm last week, knocked a large branch out of hte maple tree in our front yard and it’s now been cut up and bagged for the yard waste colectors and I took a stab at cleaning the gutters. It didn’t succeed as the ladder the landlord has in the garage is not tall enough to accomplish the task. I don’t think anyone has cleaned those gutters for quite awhile, because there are leaves that have turned into soil in them and the one in the front is like a little eco-system. So, I suppose I’ll have to talk to the landlord about which one of us is actually responsible for getting them cleaned.

More importantly, I finally broke in the new sewing machine I bought a month or two ago and sewed the curtains for the bedroom and my office. I’ve been hand-sewing everything for ages, but the prospect of sewing 4 curtains finally caused me to go out and spend the money on a machine. Then I bought one with all kinds of stitches, which is way more complicated than the old machine I used to have, so I was daunted. But in the end it’s not comlicated at all, silly me.

The photo is of one of the curtains in the office (umbrella print.) Sadly that’s the place where my sewing desk was supposed to go, but it turned out it was one inch too wide to fit through the door, no matter which way we tried, so it’s out in the dining room, while a lonely craiglist library chair takes its place. (reminding me of parking space guards in winter cities.) I think I’ll make the area a painting place instead.


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